Moms of multiples are looked up to, felt sorry for, or stared at in amazement or wonder on how in the world does she get through the day. When I personally see moms of triplets or quadruplets I just stare at them and think to myself, "How? How? HOW?!!?" I mean, come on.. I have two babies, yes, but I also have two hands, two arms, two eyes, and a husband. These women are one limb and one hubby short!
Anways..back on topic. Moms of multiples are looked up to, but I think we sometimes forget the ones behind the scenes: Dads of multiples!
Okay- so I've asked him to be honest--and he laughed, almost like he is going to enjoy scaring all the other soon to be twin daddies out there--so I apologize ahead of time if he says anything embarrassing, frightening, or inappropriate…
1. What was your first thought when the doctor said you were having twins?
Shock, is that a reaction? I couldn't believe this was for real.
2. What was the most challenging part in supporting your wife during her pregnancy?
Toward the end, you were so big and uncomfortable so I had to do all the laundry, cooking, cleaning, outside yard work, washing vehicles. I had to do everything. Yea, I think that was kinda tough.
3. What was the best part about your wife being pregnant with twins?
The thought that I was going to instantly have two kids. That was awesome. And then when I found out it was two boys, that was awesome.
4. With that said, what genders were you hoping for? What did you want to name them?
A boy and girl. Noah and Ali.
5. If you could give a twin dad any advice to get him through her pregnancy, what would you tell them?
If you want your wife to meet your "physical needs", you need to meet hers- which means lots of back massages, foot rubs, and brownies. And anything else she wants.
6. What were your thoughts about seeing your wife being cut open during the emergency c-section?
I was so in the moment. I was in panic. I had to sprint to the operating room. I was in so much shock. I guess I didn't enjoy the birthing process the way I thought I would have because it was so rushed and so fast. I didn't get to experience the emotional side because it was an emergency C-section. I was so worried about you and them knowing that Noah's foot broke through. They told me they might have to put you to sleep. I was just in so much shock I couldn't enjoy the moment. When they were operating on you I was watching the monitor a lot watching your blood pressure because I know a lot of people bottom out. I was just so scared of losing you.
7. What was the first night like for you in the hospital?
I got 1 1/2 hour of sleep. We didn't want the babies to be in the nursery. I was still in so much shock I couldn't sleep. And your stupid leg pump machine kept me awake. I finally fell asleep around 4:30.
8. What advice would you give a twin dad for the hospital stay?
Use the nursery as much as possible to sleep. The adjustment to having children and the days in the hospital are crazy. Nurses in and out, babies feeding every few hours, visitors stay forever. You need sleep. The biggest advice I could give is hit up the coffee bar downstairs. Its awesome. So are the omelets.
9. What was the first day home like and what advice would you give another twin dad?
Thankfully, Jamie and Jared cooked for us and had people cook. Definitely have food cooked for at least 2 weeks. That was awesome. Dont have visitors for at least a month because it stressed you out. Take off work as long as possible.
10. What was breastfeeding like?
It's non stop all day and all night. When she's not breastfeeding, she's pumping, when she's not pumping she's breastfeeding. Did it weird you out? No.
11. How did you handle night time feedings?
We fed them every three hours. I fed one a bottle and you breastfed. Dont expect to ever sleep thru the night, until they start sleeping through the night. Sometimes I got less sleep than you because the baby I was feeding took longer to eat with the bottle.
12. At what age did the night feedings stop?
I think around 6 months. Our pediatrician told us we could stop. So prepare for 6 months of no sleep.
13. When you get home from work, what do you do?
Immediately start entertaining them or feeding them until its bedtime routine. So put aside anything you think you want to do because you are on baby duty until they're asleep.
14. What does bedtime routine look like?
From 3-6 months, you bathed Noah, I bathed Brody. You rocked Noah to sleep and I rocked Bro to sleep because Noah wouldn't come to me. We then put them in the crib. Sometimes you had to put Bro to sleep. Sometimes neither baby wanted me. So I had to entertain one while you put one completely to sleep and then you started on the next one. Biggest advice would be put them to bed as early as possible. We put them to bed at 5pm and now we put them to bed at 6pm. You need down time and thats impossible with twins. Put them to bed early. They need a lot of sleep that age anyway.
15. How do you manage the stresses of work plus being a full time father when you get home?
Practically, when you walk thru the door you have to leave the work day behind. If you take stress into a stressful environment, your wife is going to go break. Your wife needs you to be strong for her no matter how weak you may feel. After being alone with 2 babies for 9 hours, the last thing she needs is another baby to take care of. For the first few months, don't assume you're coming home to a happy environment. I guarantee you, you will come home to a harder work environment than you just came from. Put your big pants on because your life is gonna suck for a while.
16. When does it get better?
Around 6 months. Mainly because at 6 months you train them to sleep thru the night. Definitely make sure by 6 months they're crib trained and 'sleep thru the night' trained.
17. Now that it's a little better, do you look forward to coming home now?
Yes definitely, up until 5 or 6 months I didn't look forward to coming home because I knew I was coming home to a more stressful environment. I was more tired and stressed on my weekends off work than I was Monday through Friday. Now, they are so much more fun. They are still cranky. But they laugh at you and you can tell they love you! They light up when they see you. When I make silly noises they both look at me and laugh. Its like now, they know I'm their dad. And thats cool. I feel like at the beginning they already know who Mom is. I feel like now at this stage they know who Dad is. And I like that.
18. What is the worst thing about having twins?
I guess, seeing dads having one child. They have so much freedom. The guy across the street gets to cut his grass and wash his car. As a twin dad I don't have that. I have to strategically plan when I do those things because I'm helping you. I have to wake up at 5am to work out for crying out loud! You have no extra time. Thats the worst.
19. Whats the best thing about having twins?
You honestly get double the love. I have two boys who will want to play with me. I'll have two buddies for the rest of my life. We'll experience everything at the same time together. Sports, school, girls..
Umm no. Hahaha- They will never have that age difference. They will experience life together and hopefully be interested in the same things.
20. What advice would you give to help keep a marriage (added with kids) strong and healthy?
Time. Spend time with her apart from the babies. Take her out. Make her feel pretty. As a mom being full of spit up and poop all day long, she still wants to feel pretty and attractive. Compliment her. Take her to dinner. Cook for her. Keep the romance alive. Physical touch is important. Not sexual, but just simple touch. Make her feel like a woman, instead of a mom.
Thank you twin daddy for you honesty:) I hope we didn't scare too many twin daddies in the process.
